A Living Nightmare
by MissKaylee
Summary: The team are called out on a case to Portland, Oregon. The unsub is going after men and women in their twenties and thirties who have history of drugs and also relapsed at one point in their lives. However, the unsub is killing them with one particular drug: Dilaudid. When Reid goes undercover as a potential victim he may be put in more danger then they originally thought.
1. I Do It Because I Have To

** A/N: So this is obviously a new story of mine. My sister always mentions that she feels that Reid's drug problems were kind of cut off and that they should be explored more in the show. Well, I don't know what will happen to Reid in the future episodes of Criminal Minds, but she basically bugged me to make the idea into a story until I finally gave in then guess what . . . I got hooked. This idea really is good and I feel it explains more about his past drug abuse and maybe some secrets you may not know. Now give it a try and remember to leave lots of comments. **

**~MissKaylee**

* * *

**_Chapter One: I Do It Because I have To_**

Spencer Reid woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing one early morning. He groaned and rolled over clutching at his night stand attempting to find it. He cracked his tired eyes open and saw PENELOPE GARCIA flashing on his screen. He heaved an exhausted sigh and swiped his screen, answering the phone.

"Hello, Garcia," Spencer said into the phone.

"Sorry, Boy Wonder. It's bad and we need everyone in immediately," Garcia apologized.

"Okay, I'll be right in," Spencer said without hesitation. He placed his phone back on the nightstand before turning off the alarm clock and checking the time. The clock flashed 5:15 AM.

The team just got home late last night from Kansas City, because of a serial arsonist who was burning down high schools to get back at the principal who molested him in his high school years. The unsub, Jake Roberts, ended up being talked down by Morgan while he had his former principal at knife point. They will both be receiving jail time for their crimes.

Not even six hours later they are being called on another case to who-knows-where. They were going to study who-knows-who. And they were going to learn who-knows-what.

Spencer reluctantly got out of bed and went to take a quick shower. When he finished, he got dressed, poured coffee into a thermos, grabbed his messenger back along with his to-go bag and got into his car for the drive to Quantico. It was about a twenty minute drive from his apartment to the FBI Federal Building. He parked his car next to JJ's car before getting out and entering the building.

Some agents, who had to arrive early, said hello in passing as he made his way up, but he didn't stop and converse. The elevator ride was short, and soon Spencer was in the bullpen. He placed his stuff at his desk, before going to the conference room coffee in hand. Everyone was here except for Blake who had the longest drive. The wait was short however since Blake was a fast driver.

"Okay, crime fighters, this one is a doozy," Garcia announced, once everyone had sat down with the files in front of them. "You are going to Portland, Oregon and it is not for the fresh food. Over the past two weeks there has been a series of five deaths. The victims were James Matheson, Cassie Rogers, Lee Johnson, Angelina Harris, and Andrew Wyatt. They were all caused by an overdose."

"Two weeks? Why did they wait so long to contact us?" Blake asked.

"At first they thought it was coincidental. Then they noticed one thing completely similar between the victims," Garcia answered.

"The drug they overdosed on?" Hotch guessed.

Garcia nodded grimly. "That is unfortunately correct, sir. All five victims overdosed on one overly addictive drug: Dilaudid."

Blake and Rossi were confused as to why the atmosphere in the conference room suddenly got so tense. No one was saying anything, but it was clear that something was up.

"Um, anyway, that's not all," Garcia said awkwardly. "Each of the victims had an addiction before their death. James Matheson was currently addicted to marijuana. Cassie Rogers was addicted to cocaine when she was in high school. She went to rehab when she graduated and has been clean since. Lee Johnson was in the midst of a custody battle because his ex-wife felt his addiction made him unfit to care for his two kids. Angelina Harris was been taking hallucinogens since she was eighteen. And finally Andrew Wyatt was addicted to Meth and has been for ten years."

"The only thing similar between each of the victims is the fact that they were each addicted at one point or another," Hotch stated. "Everything else is different. Different genders, races, looks, sexual orientations. Garcia, have you found out if the victims knew each other or not?"

"As far as I can tell, they never met before," Garcia answered quietly.

"Okay, wheels up in twenty," Hotch decided.

Everyone grabbed their stuff and moved out of the conference room. Spencer was about to make a beeline for the door when Hotch suddenly called him back. Spencer didn't want to, but he turned to look at his boss.

"Reid, if you can't do this case we will all understand," Hotch told him.

"No offense Hotch, but I am the only person on this team that understands the victims," Spencer told him sincerely. "I'm not going to run away when someone else out there could be in need of our help."

Hotch nodded. "Okay, but if you don't think you can handle it, or just need time, let me know. Understand?"

Spencer nodded back, and said, "Yes, sir," before leaving the conference room. He grabbed his bags and went to catch up with Blake for a ride to the airstrip.

* * *

After the briefing on the plane, the team split off. JJ was texting Will. Hotch and Rossi were discussing the case with Blake. Morgan was listening to some music and Spencer was attempting to read a book.

When Spencer got up to refill his thermos, Morgan made the move to follow him. Spencer noticed Morgan's expression and sighed not wanting to have this conversation yet.

"Hey, Kid. You know no one would think less of you if you decided not to do this," Morgan's voice was quiet and understanding as he said this.

"I know," Spencer said.

"Then why are you coming?"

"I do it for the same reason that you continue to work cases involving child molesters. Or JJ works suicides. And Hotch works child abductions. I do it, because I have to. I do it, because if I didn't I would be running away from the problem and that is the last thing I want to do."

"Promise me something?" Morgan asked.

Spencer raised an eyebrow.

"If you feel yourself giving in, promise me that you'll take to me about it?"

Spencer nodded. "I promise."

"Morgan, Reid, we'll be landing soon," Hotch called over to the two friends.

They both nodded and made their way back to their seats. The rest of the plane ride only lasted a few minutes. The lead detective, Detective Kerch, met them at the airstrip with two SUVs waiting for them. It was pouring down rain so the team ran to the warm dry cars.

From the airport they split off. Hotch and JJ went to the police station to begin the profile and talk to family members. Spencer and Blake went to the morgue to discuss the bodies with the medical examiner. Meanwhile, Rossi and Morgan went to check out the abduction and dump sites.

At the morgue, Spencer and Blake met with the medical examiner, Kathryn Long. As they looked at the victims' bodies Spencer got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, almost as if he could have been the one on this metal table if he hadn't quit. He pushed his dread down and continued to listen to Kathryn Long speak.

"They victims didn't have any food or water in their systems at the time of death. Actually they were each very thin, I'd guess that your guy held them captive, starved them, and injected them with the drug," she told them.

"If you had to guess, how long would you say they were held for?" Spencer asked.

"With my best guess, I'd say a week, maybe more," Long guessed. "Also there was something odd found in each of the bodies."

"Odd?" Blake asked.

"There was salt water in their systems," she said.

"Wait, so there was salt water in their blood, but they weren't drowned?"

"That would be correct," the coroner said.

"Thank you for the help," Blake shook her hand before following Reid out of the morgue.

When they got into the car they called Hotch.

_"What did you find out?"_

"Each of the victims were held captive, starved, and were given the drug numerous times before they were given the overdose," Spencer informed him. "Also salt water was found in their lungs, but they died of the drugs."

_"Okay," _Hotch said, _"I want both of you to come back to the station. We need to dig deeper into these victims' lives. Reid, take me off speaker please."_

Spencer did so then placed it back at his ear. "Yes?"

_"They need to know, Reid," _Hotch said. _"Blake and Rossi, I mean. They need to know the truth. They need to know everything. It could help us."_

Spencer closed his eyes and sighed. He was hoping that he would be able to avoid telling them. It was bad enough having Hotch, JJ, Morgan, Garcia, Emily, and Gideon know when it was happening, but now he has to tell Blake and Rossi the truth about Tobias Hankel and the aftermath of it.

"Okay," Spencer reluctantly agreed. "Fine. I'll do it."

_"Good. We'll see you both in a few minutes."_ With that both men hung up their cell phones.

On their way back to the station, Spencer drove about five miles under the speed limit so he could prolong the inevitable. Blake watched him curiously, but didn't comment on his speed. The drive took twice as long as it should have. When they finally did arrive Spencer was trying to keep himself from having a panic attack as he and Blake got out of the SUV.

The station was busy with the usual busy cops working on unrelated, but still stress filled cases. Some were chugging down back coffee. Others were working on paperwork at their desks. And some were talking with victims for different cases.

The two FBI agents found their colleagues in the conference room with the bulletin board set up as well as the coffee pot. Everyone was already there waiting.

"What did you find at the morgue?" Morgan asked.

"The victims were held captive, starved, then drugged who knows how many times before they were given their lethal dose. Also salt water was found in their lungs for some reason," Blake informed the team. "What about you? Did you learn anything new from the families?"

"That is what's odd," Hotch began. "Cassie Rogers got sober shortly after her high school graduation, but she had a relapse."

"When?" Rossi asked.

"About a year ago," he answered. "However, her boyfriend told us that she was going back to DA meetings. She was trying to get clean again."

"As it turns out she wasn't the only one," JJ commented.

"Each of the victims was trying to get clean?" Spencer guessed which caused JJ to nod.

"So this guy is going after drug addicts who are trying to quit, captures them, starves them, then kills them with one specific type of drug," Morgan put together. "Why? Why this particular drug?"

"Well, heroine is one of the most addictive drugs out there," Blake commented.

"It's also the hardest to quit," Spencer said softly.

Hotch watched Reid with a careful expression, but other than that didn't do or say anything.

"Maybe the unsub is addicted to Dilaudid himself," Rossi suggested.

"He's not," Spencer answered. "He may have tried it before, but he's not an addict."

Rossi raised an eye brow, silently asking him to elaborate.

Spencer sighed and did so. "The reason that drug is so addicting is because of how it makes you feel. It makes you feel happy, you forget the bad stuff, and it takes you away from reality. Dilaudid doesn't have a bad crash either. If this guy was an addict then he would want that needle in his arm every second he had. He wouldn't be spending his time killing other addicts. He'd be finding ways to get more of the heroine."

Rossi and Blake both watched Spencer with an odd expression, while Morgan went and closed the door to the room.

The message was clear: _Time for the truth to come out._

"A few months before Rossi joined the team we had a case," Spencer started. "The unsub would attack people in their homes and upload videos of their deaths online. JJ and I went to a man named Tobias Hankel. There had been complaints about his dogs getting loose in the past and we had seen the same dogs in one of his videos."

JJ picked up the story. "He wouldn't let us in no matter how many times Spence asked to use his bathroom." Her tone was light and humorous which made most of the team laugh except for Spencer. "Anyway, Spence went around back and found a room full of computer screens. Tobias saw him and ran off. We ran after him but were forced to split up. Spence went into the corn field while I went into the barn."

"I was searching the corn field when I was suddenly hit in the head with something hard," Spencer recalled. "It was a shovel. Tobias picked up my revolver from the ground and pointed it at me. Then it started happening. Tobias was a split personality. He had three personalities: himself, his abusive and strict father, Charles, and Raphael, a ruthless angel insistent of fulfilling God's will. That was the first time I saw Tobias argue with his father's personality. The next thing I knew, I blacked out from the pain in my head."

Morgan who was sitting closest to him set his hand comfortingly on Reid's shoulder which he accepted grateful.

"When we realized that we'd sent the two of them to the unsub's house with no backup we immediately panicked," Morgan continued. "Neither of them was answering their phones so we got in the SUV's and rushed to the house. JJ was in the barn, she was forced to shoot the bastard's dogs. She was out of it for a bit, but we got her calmed down once we were able. Meanwhile, I went out to the back to find Reid's cell phone lying on the ground and Reid was nowhere to be found. We called Garcia and had her come out. We immediately dug into that guy's life as if it didn't kill us not knowing whether Reid was alive or not."

"When I awoke, I was in a small, dark shed." Reid tried to push down the fear that threatened to compile him. "The team later told me that I'd been missing for two days. It felt so much longer . . . it still does." Reid took a deep breath. "Through those days, I was hit and abused by Tobias's father, Charles. Tobias wanted to put me out of my pain so he did the only thing he knew how. He injected me with dilaudid." Rossi and Blake's faces flashed with understanding as soon as those words registered in their heads. Now they understand why this case was so hard on him.

"When I came to Charles set up three video screens. They each showed houses with people inside of them. He also sent a live video feed to the team so they could watch. Charles forced me to choose one of the families to save using Russian Roulette. I did and the team was able to save that family. I had to watch on the screen as Raphael killed one of the other families." Reid took a deep breath for a second, trying not to let it get to him again. Meanwhile Hotch picked up the next part which involved Garcia and Gideon sending him a virus on the computer which stopped the world from watching Reid's torture. "He blamed me," Reid said. "Charles blamed me for the virus and began to beat me. It became too much stress on my body. All I remember is it being hard to breathe. Oxygen wasn't coming to my lungs like it was supposed to. Then suddenly everything went black."

"You died?" Blake guessed.

Reid nodded. "Tobias resuscitated me, but Raphael found it strange. He thought the team was the seven Archangels in the book Revelations in the Bible. He used Russian Roulette to make me choose which team member would die. I chose Hotch and said that he was a classic narcissist, which is false and misquoted a passage in Genesis. Hotch was able to put the clues together and found me. By the time the team found me, I was digging my own grave." Spencer lowered his voice even though no one outside the conference room could hear them. "Off the record, I was addicted to dilaudid for a couple of months before I finally got myself clean and began going to NA meetings."

Rossi and Blake were silent taking it all in. This guy was thirty-one and he has been through hell and back. He'd been through much more than either of them. Although, when it comes to working for the FBI, drug and alcohol abuse is not uncommon.

Rossi cleared his throat. "So this unsub isn't an addict?"

Spencer was grateful for the change of subject. "No," he said, "at least not to dilaudid."

"Then, why use dilaudid? And what's with the salt water in their lungs?" Morgan asked.

"I'm not sure," Spencer admitted. "But I'm going to find out."

* * *

**A/N: So who else found last Wednesday's episode of Criminal Minds completely creepy? I mean who kills to save a marriage. That's just weird and wrong. **


	2. I Never Meant For It To Happen

**A/N: Just to make everything clear, Reid and Morgan are only friends in this story. There are other stories that will be posted in the future where they'll be more, but I feel that this story already has so much going on that having them date would be overkill so to speak. I'm sorry if some of you were hoping for that, but not gonna happen in this story. Keep an eye out on my future stories though. They are strictly friends/brothers in this story. **

**~MissKaylee**

** WheresReenie - I'm not sure why this story would sound familiar to you. Maybe there are similar stories out there, but not that I've seen. Also maybe you've read a story that has the same title or something. Other than that I'm not really sure why it would sound familiar to you. I hope that helps! :)**

** Polizeipferd - Thank you. I really loved your comment and am happy to have your support. **

** Sniper - Um, I'm not sure what you're saying. If you could tell me what language that is then I could look it up, but until then I guess I'll just say . . . thank you. **

* * *

**_Chapter Two: I Never Meant For It to Happen_**

Later that night, the team was forced to share rooms at the hotel they were staying at. Blake and JJ shared a room, as did Rossi and Hotch, which left Morgan with Reid. The room that Morgan and Reid were sharing was quiet except for the faint snores that Morgan released.

Suddenly a loud scream filled the air. "No! Tobias, stop him! Please! Stop! I don't want it! Please!"

Morgan jostled awake to find Reid thrashing on the bed. He got up and began to shake his friend in an attempt to wake him up. It took a minute, but Morgan was finally able to wake up his friend. Reid's eyes were wide and he was gasping for breathes.

Morgan went and got him some water which Reid gulped down. His body was sweaty and he was still panting from all the screaming.

"Are you okay, kid?" Morgan asked him.

Reid didn't say anything. He simply nodded which didn't please Morgan very well. "Come on, Reid," Morgan urged. "Talk to me."

Reid took a few shaky breathes but was unable to get the words out.

"What happened?" Morgan asked again.

After a moment's hesitation, Reid said, "I was there again. I-I was in the shed with Charles and he was beating me. I was calling out for Tobias to stop him and take the pain away. Suddenly Tobias was the one standing in front of me. Only he wasn't helping me. He was drugging me. I didn't want it, but he kept giving it to me."

"Reid, it's okay. Tobias is dead. You're clean. You're not in any danger. Do you hear me?"

Reid looked down at his lap where his hands were still shaking slightly. "I am though," he said quietly after a moment.

Morgan looked at him confused.

"Reid, what are you talking about? You're not in danger," Morgan stated.

"I am," Reid disagreed.

"What . . . ? Are you talking about the unsub?" Reid nodded. "Reid, the unsub is capturing adults in their early to mid-thirties who have been addicted to some type of drug, quit, then relapsed. You may be in your early thirties, and you may have been addicted to dilaudid, but you never relapsed so you're not in danger."

Reid didn't say anything. He was too busy looking at his trembling hands.

" . . . Uh, Reid?" Morgan mumbled hesitantly. "You never did . . . relapse? Um, right?"

Reid took a deep shaky breath. "I never meant for it to happen."

Morgan stared at his friend in shock. He had known Reid since he joined the team ten years ago. At the beginning they hadn't been that close, but over the years Spencer had become the little brother that he never had. He was able to prank him, fight with him, and embarrass him all he wanted. He felt like hell when he was forced to watch Reid die in that shed alone. He felt even worse when Reid was going through the withdrawals and he couldn't do anything about them. Now Morgan was sitting here learning that his best friend – his brother – had relapsed on the drug he had been addicted to in the past.

"Kid . . ." Morgan didn't know what to say to him right now.

Reid cleared his throat awkwardly to explain. "It . . . it was during the first week after Maeve died. You know . . . when I wasn't talking to any of you. I jus-I didn't know what to do. I couldn't handle the pain. I had just lost the love of my life and the only person who I could actually picture myself being with. I just wanted to forget so I went out and got it. I called an old friend from Vegas and he was able to hook me up with a former pharmacologist in DC. I know it wasn't the best thing to do, but-"

"Whoa, what did you just say?" Morgan asked him thinking.

"Uh, I said that I got it from an old friend in Vegas?" Reid said confused.

"No. No. I mean about him hooking you up with a former pharmacologist."

Reid looked at him confused. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, can you usually get it from a former pharmacologist or doctor?" Morgan asked.

Reid nodded slowly. "Usually, or the drug dealer you can get it from has his or her own connections. Why?"

"I'm just wondering, how could the unsub have gotten so much dilaudid without getting caught?" Morgan wondered.

Reid shrugged. "Give enough money to the dealer and you can hide anything. However, everyone has a price."

Morgan's face broke into a grin. "Dr. Spencer Reid, you are a genius!"

"Well, I already knew that," Reid stated, then frown. "Wait, why am I genius again?"

Morgan was too busy calling Hotch to answer.

"Hey, Hotch," Morgan said. "I think I got something."

* * *

"You think the unsub is in the medical field?" Hotch repeated.

It was the next morning and the team was sitting around the table at the Portland police station when Morgan brought up his theory. Last night after he had gotten off the phone with Hotch, Morgan explained his theory to Reid. Reid had to admit that it was a good theory. That would explain how he got the drug and the money for it.

"If not now then maybe in the past," Morgan suggested.

"It does make sense. I mean there are some black-market pharmacies around here, right?" Blake asked Kerch.

"Are you kidding?" Kerch raised an eyebrow. "One day I was jogging through the city and I saw an old, frizzled lady who was making faces at herself in a store window." Nobody looked surprised. They've all seen worse in big cities. "Yes, there are black-market pharmacies around here."

Before anything else was said Kerch's lieutenant barged in. "Sir, another body was found," he said.

Kerch bowed his head and nodded.

"JJ, you and Dave go with Kerch to the crime scene," Hotch said. He then turned to Kerch's lieutenant, Officer Lane. "Who is the latest victim?"

Officer Lane looked down at the file. "Her name is Dana Ford. She's an engineering student at Pacific Coast. Her file says that she was caught smoking pot in her freshman year of high school and she quit cold turkey at sixteen. And it seems she relapsed a few months ago," he answered looking up from Dana Ford's file.

"Blake, you and I will go speak with Dana Ford's family," Hotch continued. "Morgan, Reid, I want you both to stay and work on the profile and geographical profile."

They both nodded and moved to the evidence board to do so.

Once everyone left, Morgan turned to Reid.

"I'm sorry," Morgan apologized.

"For what?" Reid asked.

"For ending the conversation pretty quickly last night," Morgan admitted. "I didn't mean to cut you off the way I did. Maybe tonight we can finish that talk."

Reid nodded. "I would like that a lot."

"Good." Morgan smiled.

Things turned quiet for a moment as Reid thought about how to ask his next question.

* * *

The house of the Fords was a small well-mannered bungalow. The yard was nicely kept and the paint on the outside was new. Inside the house showed an upper-class family that simply didn't like to put their money in material things.

There were four Fords living in the house. The mother, Christina, was a socialite when she was in her twenties and has long since settled down. Despite the fact that she's in her forties, her brown hair has yet to grey so Hotch assumes that she dies the grey. She was tall and in a freshly pressed dress suit. Michael, the father, is the most successful attorney in Portland. His black hair is greyed along with the goat-tee probably from the stress of trying to win hard cases. He was also wearing a dark pressed suit as if he just got back from court. Dana Ford's fourteen year old sister, Gabriella has curly black hair with hazel eyes. In her school records it says that Gabriella is a straight A student and participates in many different clubs and sports in her high school. She has never had any trouble with the law and seems to work hard to get her parents attention even if he doesn't receive it. Nick, Dana's ten year old brother does well in school and is the star on his school's soccer team.

It seems that each of the children do things to get their parents attention. Dana became a trouble maker with drugs. Gabriella became an overachiever. Also Nick became a sports start to win his parents affection.

While Blake talked to the children in Gabriella's, Hotch talked to the parents.

"When was the last time you talked to your daughter?" Hotch asked.

Christina had to think about it. "I would say a few months."

"Was it common for you to go so long without speaking?"

Michael shrugged. "She's a freshman. She doesn't want her parents checking up on her all the time. We give her the space she needs to grow. If we smother her she's just going to grow to resent us."

"Is that why she began doing drugs?"

Michael looked outraged while Christina looked guilty. "Excuse me?" Michael demanded.

"Did she begin to do drugs because you never gave her enough attention?" Hotch asked.

"Dana . . . she has always been a troubled kid," Michael tried to argue.

"Did you ever do anything to help her or did you just let her do whatever she wanted?" Hotch asked.

"There was nothing we could do," Christina whispered.

"She was blocking us out," Michael finally admitted. "We didn't know what else to do. She wouldn't talk to us. She was finally doing well until she began to close herself off. We knew she was doing drugs, but we didn't know how to help her."

Hotch sighed. "Was she the type of girl to help people like if they were lost or had car trouble?"

Christina and Michael both nodded. "She liked helping people."

Hotch nodded. He knew how the unsub attracted his victims.

Meanwhile, Blake talked with Dana's siblings.

"Did you know your sister was doing drugs again?" Blake asked sensitively.

Gabriella and Nick nodded. "She was trying to get clean again. She went to a party and she said that she fell into the temptation of it. She's been working hard. She wanted us to live with her as soon as she got a job so then we could have the family we deserved. She wouldn't just wreck that for any reason."

"Your sister wanted to help people?"

"Dana was always helping people even if she didn't know them. If someone was walking on the side of the road, she's give them a ride. If someone was lost, she'd give them directions. She was good at helping people," Nick answered.

"Thank you," Blake said to them. She reached into her jacket pocket, pulled out her card and gave it to them. "If you can remember anything else please call."

Gabriella took the card and they both nodded.

* * *

As Morgan was placing new pins on the geographical map, the wheels in Reid's brain started turning.

"Salt water," he whispered.

Morgan raised a curious eyebrow at his friend. "What?"

"The salt water," Reid repeated. "When you ingest salt water it can make you get sick."

"It makes you puke," Morgan translated then paused, "excellent."

"No that's not what I'm getting at," Reid argued. "If you puke all the food and hydration gets taken out of your body. That's why when you're sick as a kid your parents want you to eat and drink even if you're going to puke again. It's also the same reason why you should eat before drinking."

"Cause if you don't then you'll get drunk faster," Morgan offered catching on.

Reid nodded. "He uses salt water to empty their systems and then drugs them with the dilaudid. Then it just ends up killing them faster and makes an easier overdose."

"That's why salt water was found in the victim's blood but not in their lungs." Reid nodded. "They weren't drowned. They were ingested by it." Morgan pulled out his phone to call the others. "Good job, Kid," he said before dialing.

Later that day, they all sat around the conference room working on the profile. "So we've talked with the families of the victims and learned that each of the victims were helpful type of people. For example, on trash day Lee Johnson always helped his elderly neighbor take out her garbage. The point is the unsub could have easily faked a car problem or something to get the victims' attention," JJ said.

"So we know where the unsub is getting his victims, we know how, and we know how exactly he is killing his victims," Rossi said. "Now what we need to figure out is who the unsub is."

"I think it's time to give the profile," Hotch decided.

Detective Kerch got his officers together so they could give the profile.

Hotch began first, "We're looking for a white male in his late twenties to late thirties. He won't have a job because the stalking and torture of his victims is time consuming."

Rossi continued. "His victims are men and women in their early thirties who have had some type of drug addiction. The victims have also relapsed and that is what the unsub is looking for. He kidnaps the victims and holds them for several days, starves them, and injected them with the drug dilaudid before finally overdosing them with it."

"The unsub most likely thinks that he is cleaning up the world by getting rid of people who have had past drug addictions. He may have taken drugs himself except he was able to stop himself before he got to the point of addiction," Morgan said.

"When it comes to the community, he would be a loner. He would be the type of guy that parents are cautious of," JJ added. "He won't have any real friends or family."

"The unsub goes to drug meetings to find his victims," Blake told them. "He listens to their stories, and he talks to them until the victims trust him enough. He'll most likely fake an injury or car trouble to get their help. Once he gets it, he'll attack them and take them to a private location."

The police took notes throughout the profile and listened carefully. Most of them seemed happy to help and catch this guy. A few though still seemed upset about the FBI being involved at all. Once they finished the police broke off to go answer emergency calls or to help find the unsub for the case.

Once they finished giving the profile, Hotch ordered the team to go back to their hotel for the night. Morgan and Reid did so without argument. They really needed to have a talk and a long night of sleep.

Tomorrow Reid would tell Hotch his suggestion. He knows that its dangerous and possible life-threatening, but he feels that it can work.

* * *

**A/N: I loved yesterday's episode. We got a Reid episode! Finally! I'm so happy for his mom and the post cards that she sent him were hilarious. Hopefully this will keep Reid happy for a while. :)  
**


	3. Just Give Me A Chance

**A/N: Not much of an author's note this time. I'm sorry about the ending though. It wouldn't be a Criminal Minds story without something like this happening. I hope you don't hate me. The 4th chapter should be up soon. Sorry, again. Also sorry for the long wait. I recently moved in with my grandmother so I've had to juggle unpacking with school then I had spring break and I usually spend that with my mom and she doesn't have internet. I am almost done with chapter four though. I have a feeling there will either be five chapters or four will just be really long. Let me know which you would like to have more. Thanks :)**

**~MissKaylee**

** ripon - Thanks for the advice. I have the biggest problem when it comes to keeping my past/present/future tenses mixed up so if that happens please just ignore it. I'm trying to fix it, but its hard. **

* * *

**_Chapter Three: Just Give Me a Chance _**

Throughout the day, the team didn't get any closer to catching their unsub. The team talked with many of the local rehab centers and drug meeting organizations and made sure to give them the profile which made the leaders intent on keeping an eye out. The team even sat in on a few drug meeting to see if anyone fit the profile, but if the unsub was there he didn't speak.

Finally around lunch time the team was wiped out and out of ideas. Reid knew it was time. Morgan and JJ were out getting lunch for everyone and Rossi and Blake were talking with Detective Kerch in his office so it seemed like the perfect moment.

"Hotch?" Reid said stepping toward his boss.

Hotch looked away from the map on the wall to look at his agent. "What is it, Reid?" he asked.

Reid cleared his throat nervously. He was apprehensive on how to approach this. "I – uh – I have an idea that may help us find the unsub," he stuttered.

Hotch arched his brow at Reid's obvious anxiety.

"What is it?"

"Sendmeinundercover," he rushed.

"Pardon?" Hotch asked confused.

This time Reid took a breath and said the words slower, "Send me in undercover."

Hotch stood there surprised. The truth is that he's considered the idea himself. The only thing is that he could never ask someone to make that kind of sacrifice. Now here Reid is _volunteering_ for this task. Sending someone in as an undercover is dangerous whatever the circumstance let alone when the person is an ex-drug addict. That may be why Hotch doesn't want Reid to go in actually. He doesn't want Reid to be tempted more then he already is. Even worse, what if the unsub got to Reid and the team can't find him in time. Reid would get shot up with dilaudid by a deranged unsub. _Again._

Hotch couldn't stand it if Reid became addicted again under one of his own orders.

However, while looking at Reid, Hotch saw something in Reid's eyes. It was determination. When Reid had first joined the team – when he was twenty-two – Hotch wasn't sure what to make of him. He was young, skinny, and had to have acceptations for him to join the team. He could barely shoot, he was nervous when talking with his teammates, and, truthfully, Hotch was worried about how Reid would handle the cases. Throughout time everyone's memory loses the more graphic details of cases. Reid's mind could not. He would remember everything. Forever.

As time went by Spencer Reid was no longer the same young agent as before. Spencer Reid became a strong, resourceful agent. In his time in the BAU, Reid has survived the explosion with the Fisher King case, being abducted, drugs, and beaten by a serial killer, being shot in the leg while still being able to talk down an unsub, receiving anthrax, discovering the truth of his father's leaving, avoiding a relapse at the "death" of a fellow agent, also the capturing and death of his love and girlfriend, Maeve Donovan.

The determination that is in Reid's eyes had only shown through with such strength once before. It was when Reid was begging Hotch and the rest of the team to find his girlfriend and save her from her stalker.

"Please, Hotch," Reid said. "I've never truly asked you for anything, but please . . . just give me a chance."

"Explain one thing to me," Hotch instructed. "Why? Why do you want to put yourself in this position?"

"Because I need to know," Reid whispered.

"You need to know what?"

"I need to know if I can avoid the temptation," he said.

Hotch sighed unsure about this. He knew sending Reid in would be the best option. Reid could blend in more at the drug meetings and he would know how to buy drugs better than anyone else on the team. Hotch took one last look at his agent/friend and did one thing he did not expect.

He nodded.

"Okay," he said. "You can give it a shot, but if you can't do this – even if we're already in – then you back out. Understand me?"

Reid nodded and said, "Thank you, Hotch."

* * *

When the team got back to the conference room, Hotch and Reid explained their plan.

"No!" Morgan yelled. "Kid, you can't do this."

Reid shook his head helplessly. "We don't have a choice, Morgan. We have to catch the unsub."

"But risking your life – your sobriety – is a different matter entirely!"

"Nothing's going to happen to my sobriety!" Reid yelled back. He was beginning to get angry. Why couldn't Morgan just understand where he was coming from?

Morgan glared at his best friend. "You don't know that! The unsub could easily get ahold of you! It's happened before. Do you really want that to happen again?"

"You are seriously asking me that right now? Really Morgan?" Reid demanded. "Of course, I know the risks. Of course, I know what could happen if the unsub somehow gets to me, but that's not going to stop me. He is targeting people – people who have been through crap and made bad decisions just like me. I need to help them and get justice for their families, if it means risking everything then why not? It's not like we haven't done it before."

"Reid-"

"No, you know what Morgan you don't have the right to knock me down, okay? How many times have you gone after unsubs without a house being cleared? Or just ignoring protocol? You do it all the time because you want to help the victims. Well, this is my chance to help them?" With that last word Reid stalked out of the conference room angrily not sparing a look at his friend.

Morgan shook his head before turning to his boss. "Hotch, you can't let him do this?"

"It's already done, Morgan," Hotch told him. "Reid's going in tomorrow. The unsub needs to watch him for a while so we rented an apartment for Reid while he's undercover. He'll constantly have someone checking on him and there will be a twenty-four hour trace on his phone. We're taking precautions, Morgan."

Morgan wasn't so sure. It's not that he didn't trust Reid – because he did – he just didn't want to stand by and watch as something happens to his friend. Reid had come such a long way since his original addiction and now Morgan learned that his friend had recently relapsed last year. It wasn't surprising, truthfully.

Once Emily had returned, it was obvious that Reid was mad at her and JJ, especially JJ. When they were fighting in the police station Reid had admitted to thinking about doing dilaudid in those months that Emily had been "dead." If the death of a friend caused Reid to be tempted, it's no wonder that Reid relapsed after the death of Maeve. It was obvious that he had loved Maeve and it was horrible how little time they had. Morgan had tried calling and stopping by Reid's many times during those two weeks that he was MIA, but he never answered until he was able to get Reid on the phone about the case. It definitely wouldn't have been hard to hide that little fact from the rest of the team in those weeks, especially if he had stopped himself before he got too deep into it.

Morgan just didn't want to see his friend get hurt again. He has been through enough in just the years he has been part of the BAU. That doesn't even count the fact that his dad left, or his mom's schizophrenia, or being bullied in high school, or always feeling different from everyone else because of his age let alone his intelligence.

He sighed and looked at where his friend disappeared. No matter what the outcome, he had to fix this.

* * *

Morgan walked outside the police station to find Reid sitting on the bench staring angrily at the ground. He sighed and walked closer until he was standing right next to his friend. Reid had been right about something. Morgan was always breaking the rules for victims, now Reid just wants a chance to really help someone. He wants to save future victims and make sure that they're safe whether their drug addicts or not.

"Hey, Kid," Morgan said warily.

"What? Now are you going to demand me to go home? Think I can't do my job? Question my ability to ready 20,000 words per minute? What could it possibly be now, Morgan?" Morgan flinched at the hostility in his friend's voice.

"I'm not questioning your ability to do your job, Reid," Morgan denied gently. "I'm just scared. Last time you were taken, I had to stand there and watch it all happen. I wasn't able to help you. You're my best friend, Reid, and that – that killed me. I just can't stand back and wait for something like that to happen again."

Reid sighed at his friend's words.

"I just don't want something to happen and have you go back to that dark place," Morgan continued. "It was horrible seeing you that way. It was even worse knowing that I couldn't force you to stop. It had to be your choice." Morgan sat next to his friend on the bench. "You've come a long way in eight years. I mean come on. You've beat the drug, the temptation. You're even a sponsor for others now. I can't watch all that work be for nothing."

Reid finally looked at his friend. "Neither can I, Morgan," he said, "but I have to do this. I have to save these people."

"Is there anything I can say that'll get you to back out?" Morgan asked hopeful.

Reid smiled at his friend and shook his head. "Even if there was, I wouldn't tell you," he added which caused his friend to grin.

"Fine," Morgan relented, "but you better promise me that you'll be damn careful. I mean it, Reid. From all the times you've been hurt you've given me a lot of stress. If I had any hair, it would all be grey by now from the worry."

Reid laughed at him. "Well then I guess it's a good thing you shaved your head."

Morgan glared and pointed a stern finger at Reid. "Watch it," he warned.

They both laughed again before getting up and going back into the police station. It was hard, but for now their friendship is safe.

* * *

The next day Reid went to his first NA meeting for his undercover assignment. His story about drugs is that he was abducted by a serial killer and injected by drugs until the police managed to save him and recently he's fallen into the temptation to relapse. Reid didn't want to say it, but the meeting coordinator, Harry Newman, told him that admitted what drug he was addicted to would help him recover.

"Dilaudid," Reid admitted. "That was the drug I was addicted to."

Something flashed in Newman's eyes, but before Reid could figure out what it was, the emotion was gone. One thing was for sure, Reid had a very bad feeling about this guy. As many other people talked about their addictions, Newman made it a point to keep an eye on Reid.

Reid had learned a lot when it comes to being an FBI agent. One of those things was to trust your instincts. Reid's instincts were telling him to get out of there as fast as he could, but he knew he couldn't. The most he could do is ask Garcia to look him up later tonight when he leaves to his "apartment."

The meeting lasted a few hours. Once it ended some of the members stayed behind to speak with Newman, while other got a cup of coffee before leaving. Reid, on the other hand, left straight away. As soon as he got to the parking lot he pulled out his phone and hit speed dial. The ringing of the phone was interrupted though by a loud, "Don't move."

Reid slipped his phone carefully into his pocket before slowly turning around. The parking lot was dark with only one other person in the vicinity. Harry Newman was standing there with a gun pointed at the young doctor. It was more than clear. Harry Newman was their unsub.

"Get into the car," Newman told Reid forcefully pointing to the truck next to him. Reid knew better than to argue. He walked around Newman silently and got into the unsub's truck. At least one good thing happened; Hotch and the team should be listening to everything Newman is saying.

* * *

**A/N: Also I have been so behind on watching _Criminal Minds_. I am ashamed. Luckily, my sister gets the episodes for free off of so I can watch them at any time. I'll let you know when I catch up. **


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